When does a gambling habit become an addiction? The slide

Rick van Roij, author of “Kansloos“, columnist for CasinoZorgplicht.nl and expert by experience, provides insight into how you go from a gambling habit to an addiction without realising it. 

As an expert by experience, Rik knows how to depict the process like no other.

It started innocently

“If you had asked me years ago if I was addicted to gambling, I would have said no. In fact, I would probably have waved it away with something like, ‘I just do that for fun, once in a while.’ Nothing to it. And in the beginning it was like that. The occasional bet, a visit to the casino, just looking for some excitement after a busy week.”

But something happened that he could only name much later: his habit changed. What used to be once a month suddenly became every week. Sometimes several times. And it wasn’t just about the playing itself, but what lay underneath – the urge, the need, the inability to stop.

The slide

“For me, it felt like a slide I was on without realising it. You start at the top – upright, level-headed, with an overview. But every time you play, you slide a bit further. And before you know it, you no longer have a grip. No control. You keep sliding, and every attempt to stand still fails because you go under in your own momentum.”

For Rick, that’s when gambling became an addiction: when he stopped playing because he liked it, but because he had to. Because it was the only way he felt nothing for a while. No stress, no anxiety for a while. Gambling became a way to numb himself.

The signals he saw too late

“In hindsight, the signals were there all along. I started lying about when and how much I played. I got nervous when I couldn’t log in or when my balance ran out. My mood fluctuated with my winnings or losses. And the worst: I started disappointing people around me without really feeling it anymore. Everything revolved around that next game, that next opportunity. Everything was about thrills.”

When does it become an addiction?

For Rick, it’s not just about how often you play, but more importantly why you play and what it does to you. If you notice that you:

• increasingly think about gambling, even outside the game;
• your mood depends on winning or losing;
• lie about your behaviour;
• have financial stress, but keep going anyway;
• or feel that you no longer want to play, but should play…

… then you are probably already somewhere on that slide. And the hard part is: the further you slide, the harder it is to climb back up.

The downside of silence

Gambling addiction is one of the most silent addictions. There is no smell of alcohol, no physical marks. You can function just fine – on the outside. But on the inside, you are breaking down. That’s what makes it so dangerous. And so lonely.

“I fed that silence for years. Out of shame, out of fear of judgement. To the point where I almost broke down myself.”

Why he tells his story

“I’m not telling this for pity, but for recognition. Because I know there are people reading this right now who are thinking, ‘Shit… this is me.’ Or: ‘This sounds like my partner, my child, my colleague.’ My message is simple: you are not alone. And you are not hopeless. Recovery starts with being honest – to yourself, to others. That’s hard, I understand that like no other. But it is the only way out of the slide. To get solid ground under your feet again.”

If you doubt whether your gambling behaviour is still “normal”, that is already an important signal. Be honest with yourself. 

“Ask for help – and do so sooner than I did. Because the longer you slide, the further you fall. And remember: addiction doesn’t make you weak. But silence keeps you trapped.”